The story of a boy

I want to tell the story of a little boy I knew. He was born a gorgeous little boy whose body didn't quite match the perfection of his face. He had deformities and difficulties that would make his life far different then most children could expect when they greet this world. For whatever reason, after looking at this beautiful child his parents decided they couldn't keep him. I am not sure what their thoughts were or how that part of the story went. Perhaps they loved him but knew they had no hope of caring for him, perhaps they thought he would die anyway and they didn't want to see it, perhaps they thought he was repulsive or unlucky, perhaps they wanted to try again for abetter child, perhaps they thought that letting hiim go was his one chance at life. What ever their thoughts he ended up here, under our care and was there to greet me a few short days after arriving new and overhwhelmed to Luoyang. We met and became aquianted and almost immediately set out on an adventure together, just this tiny boy with the beautiful face and I. This was the first true adventure I went on after arriving. We went on a trip for a bout two weeks and both learned so much. I learned what it means to be a mom, and what all it entails. I learned how all consuming the love of a child can be.  I learned the structures of his face and every bump and curve of his unique little body. He learned who I was. He learned to trust and to love me. He learned that I would care for him and be there for him. He knew he was safe if could see my face. And I learned what it felt like to have a child look at you like that, to have a child settle when you hold them, and to fall asleep holding their hand.

We both went home to Luoyang and this little boy grew and started doing more of the things that little boys do, smiling, laughing, grabbing toys. He became close with his ayis. His sweet disposition and angel face always made him an instant hit. I made sure to visit him for  a couple hours or so when ever I could make it and to always kiss him good night. Then I went a way for a longer time on other adventures meeting and loving other cchildren. When I got back he had grown even more, and of course didn't recognize me, but that was alright. Little ones grow and change, and that is as it should. I was working on a different floor, but we became reaquainted. He could now sit up some, laugh, and play with  toys. He could give very slow high fives and was starting to clap his hands. He played on the mat some, but would inevitably end up in someone's arms. He was one of those children that is hard to resist cuddling. We became reaquianted and he would help me by letting me cuddle him and teach him high fives while checcking charts. He would smile and laugh and my day would be complete. 

He was moved out to an outlying unit, and just when I was accepting how much I was going to miss him I was moved to be with him for a little while. It is funny how God plans these things. He became sick shortly after I arrived here. I was able to see him and play with him and hold him some, and then he got sicker. I was the one who got to be there to watch him , hold him, and do what was possible to help him, and I was the one who got to be there in the end when it came time for him to let go. I was here to say goodbye. I was the one who was there to wrap him for the last time, to hold him for the last time, and to kiss him good bye.... He never knew what it was to have that family or dream of his own. He can no longer hope for the time when he can come home to the family he is going to share his life with. Those worries and fears about how he was going to manage in life with his difficulties are no longer a concern. There may have been so much that he didn't have, but I know when he left us he wasn't alone, and throughout his little life he was loved, and most of all he will never be forgotten. And I know I wasn't the only who loved him and will feel his loss. This special little boy touched many. I wasn't the only one fighting and hoping for him. In the end I know, no matter what, that the change he made in my life and the place he has in my heart will always be there. He might not have known his own mother to love and remember him for always, but I know that, that at least I will be able to do for him. He was here when I started my journey and now that the end is in sight it is such a blessing that I was able to be here as he ended his. There isn't any place I'd rather have been.